Let’s face it, sometimes we get some bad news. Whether it is that your student or child didn’t get invited to a local birthday party or wasn’t appropriately accommodated on his or her last exam — whatever it is — I don’t have to tell you that keeping motivated and positive is essential for a positive home environment. Motivation and positivity are great coping adversity skills for your son or daughter. Here are just a few ways we like to keep motivated through adversity and onto triumph. Plan forward movement. There is absolutely no use in becoming stagnant in bad news. Keep it moving. But I just don’t mean forget about it and put it in the back of your mind, I mean get out a giant piece of paper and write down at least 10 to 15 things you can do to make this particular situation much better for you and your child. To use an example that I often hear, if your child is not invited to a birthday party because of his or her difference, write down 10 to 15 things you can do that are more fun and more exciting than the birthday party. This could include things that we have discussed in our cabin fever article or can be planning a celebration for someone who doesn’t have the money to celebrate theirs.
Bring in the cavalry. No one is expecting you to fight these problems, ranging from inconveniences to detriments, by yourself. This is not the time to fly solo. Call your allies, teachers, mentors and friends! They can even join in the brainstorming session above.
Talk to the person who can make a difference. I oftentimes tell (mostly) men of a certain generation, when they are looking at administrations, to always find the Fredo. In case you missed it, Fredo was Don Corleone’s middle son in the book and movie “The Godfather” and was the weakest link in the mafia family. In cases when your child has been slighted or you need to advocate on his or her behalf, find the Fredo. To extend the Godfather metaphor, definitely don’t start with a Don. Make an offer they can’t refuse to the local Fredo. This can be as simple as calling the mother and explaining the circumstance about the party or speaking to a teacher or teachers’ aid at school. The trick is to find the most sympathetic ear who has the power to make change in the situation.
What are your favorite tips to deal with bad news? We have a bunch and more will be sharing them, soon!